How Long, O God? How Long?
How long, O Lord, will I avoid you? How long will I delay my obedience, which is, in fact, disobedience? How long, O Lord, will I allow my fear of failure, fear of imperfection, fear of doing it wrong — how long, O Lord, will these fears hold me back?
How long, O Lord, will my blurry picture of the Promised Land keep me from taking the next step out of the wilderness?
How long, O Lord, will the raw emotion that wraps itself around my throat, grip my voice, both literally and figuratively?
And how long, O Lord, will all of this keep me from true intimacy with you and vulnerability with others?
How long, O God? How long?
How long, O God? How long?
How long, O God? How long?
I am as paralyzed as the man on the mat. I am the one who waits by the pool. I am the woman with the issue of blood, before she risked. I am Jonah.
I am sorrowful.
I am afraid.
I am in desperate need of You.
How long, O God? How long?
Can anyone identify with where I am?
October 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Absolutely.
October 20th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Of course I/we can identify. In big or small ways we ALL fall short of the calling on our lives – the big ones and the little ones. You are loved, supported and believed in because of Who we see at work in you and what we know He’s up to. Can’t find who said it, but “God’s tests are not about our abilities but rather about our willingness.” And you, my friend, sister and warrior princess, are willing.
October 20th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Thanks Steve. Today, I keep coming back to, “in our weakness, He is strong,” and all I can say is, “God, you must be really strong right now.”
October 21st, 2009 at 6:27 am
Chickee,
I can certainly relate. I am on my own journey of pursuing God’s best for my life and struggle with the overwhelming part of life that says “How can I do this?” “What if I fail?” “Why am I so weak?” But I have two quotes on my wall that remind me to keep going. One says “Great people were not born great.They become great by making a decision to pursue their dream in life and refusing to give up. The struggle we all face on the road to our dreams is what makes us great. Ordinary people become extraordinary if they dedicate their lives to the persuit of their dreams.” The oher quote says “Don’t pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers to equal your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you yourself shall be the miracle. Standing with you my friend! Pursue greatness and all God has for you. Breathe in the quiet spirit of the Lord and his strength each day.
October 23rd, 2009 at 9:54 am
I’m a fan of the psalms of complaint myself.
“You call this Lordship?! I organize my life and business around your purposes and yet it is those who mock you who prosper! What are you thinking?!
“I embrace the free and responsible stewardship of my life and yet you abandon me to grope and founder and wander.
“Do you want the nations calling you ‘Loser God’?! Where are you? Why do you hide your presence from me? How long will you withhold your favor?
“How long?”
Thank you for your moving, articulate, and, oh so real post.
October 27th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Cheryl, just came home from an awesome conference and one speaker talked about being in the valley. He said “pitch your tent there” because it is the place you learn the most. You see, it is at that point you need God the vey most, you are crying out for the answer. You need to quit fighting against your valley and enjoy what you will glean in there from the Lord and the intimacy you will come into with Him. Be still and know that He is God. Love you , Laura