We were at our wits end. Dinner time with our four children had become a less than enjoyable experience that often ended with kids arguing, lots of complaining about the food, and Peter and I becoming exasperated. Over the last few months we’ve implemented some changes that are making a big difference. I actually believe we’re moving beyond sanity to building relationships, fostering postive experiences and hopefully creating a few memories along the way.

Here’s what we’re doing to make dinner at our house is more enjoyable:

1. Make Adjustments for Growth. When all six of us are together, we eat around our large dining room table. Initially, this was a very practical decision. Our family is growing and we’re tall people. The kitchen table is now too small to hold our family of six for any length of time. Eating in the dining room also feels more special, which is one unintended benefit of the change.
2. Communicate New Roles Clearly. And Be Thankful. Saturday through Tuesday (the days when all four children are here), each child has a specific night assigned to say the blessing. It’s interesting to see how they’re maturing in their gratitude. The order is written on the back of the pantry door so there’s no misunderstanding.
3. Change Things Up a Bit. No one sits at the same spot every night. Whoever says the blessing also sets the table and assigns seats. We use home made place cards and even make new ones when we have guests for dinner. We gain new views and learn to get along with everyone.
4. Make Conversation Fun. The blessing person asks each person a question and the person responds accordingly. One person at a time. We have a couple of options: “Good Thing/Bad Thing” and “Joke.” I heard one time that the Wayans family told jokes around the table and can only imagine how much fun they had as kids. (I welcome all kid-friendly jokes in the comment section.)
5. Build Ownership. Each child takes a turn in menu planning and meal preparation. We give guidance for healthy choices and assist in preparation. This initially began to help with grocery shopping/budgeting but there are additional benefits as well. Everyone is assured they’ll have one meal they like and are growing in their consideration of others’ choices.
6. Clean Up Messes Together. As soon as the first person is excused, he or she begins cleaning, starting with his or her own dishes. As the rest of us are excused, we take our plates, glasses, etc. and load them in the dishwasher. The kids help put away food and wash any dishes (by hand, can you imagine?) that won’t fit into the dishwasher. It works out perfectly with four children: one washes, one rinses, one dries and one puts away. (Confession, sometimes Peter and I use this time to steal a few minutes of quiet conversation in the Living Room.)
7. Build Experiences that Create Memories. We’re hoping that family dinners become experiences our kids will remember, positively. As they reflect on family times, hopefully they’ll remember at least a few special times around our table. And broaden their repertoire of “knock-knock” and “why did the chicken cross the road?” jokes.

As I type this list, I realize there could also be a few business implications for engaging employees and customers. What do you think?

How are you growing relationships?
And what’s the best kid-friendly joke you know?

This post was inspired by Michael Hyatt’s post, “How To Have Better Dinner Conversations.”