Each year around Valentine’s Day, my ex-husband comes into town to spend the weekend with Hannah and Morgan, our two children. They were both born in February so he’s able to celebrate their birthdays and spend a long weekend (President’s Day) with them. I found out earlier this morning that he’s not going to make it due to poor driving conditions between Evansville and Lynchburg.

Since he now lives in another state, the kids only see him for several weeks during the summer, a week at Christmas, and a week at Spring Break or Wednesday through Sunday during Thanksgiving (alternating each year). They also have a couple of weekends when he comes back to Virginia, typically once in the Fall and once this month.

They’ve had their hearts set on seeing him this weekend.

I wondered how disappointed they would be when they found out. (They spent they night with friends last night so Peter and I could see Celtic Woman in Roanoke. They weren’t home when he called.)

As I was praying about the phone conversation they would soon have with their dad, I was reminded of a Bible verse about hope and disappointment. I did a quick search on Bible Gateway and found Romans 5:5.

“And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

Those are good words for this Valentine’s Day. Hope (in God) doesn’t disappoint us. God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Those words settled my heart and I began to pray them for my children.

When I backed up to read the overall  passage, I was immediately drawn to verses 3-4. “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

It’s not easy to rejoice in sufferings. It’s especially difficult when I think about my children working through their disappointment. But I know God won’t waste their pain nor disappointments. He can do a deeper work in their lives and He will use this to build perseverance, character and hope in them.

Once I picked up Hannah and Morgan to take them to school, I let them call their dad. First he talked to Hannah, then Morgan. He explained that road conditions between Evansville and Lynchburg might be too risky and that the already long drive could take a lot longer on either end of the trip. He discussed a visit sometime next month. They’ll work out the details in the coming weeks.

After the conversation, we sat in the car of their school parking lot and talked. I wanted to make sure they were OK before they went to class. In typical almost-14-year old-style, Hannah was already discussing what she could do with her friends this weekend. Morgan, however, was a bit more introspective. He was obviously affected by the conversation yet also  wanted to be understanding. He acknowledged his disappointment, but then quickly added, “only a little.”

My heart broke – for both of them. I paraphrased Romans 5:5. I said, “I love you. I’ll be praying for you today.” And I told them to have a good day.

Peter and I will plan something fun with them this weekend. It won’t be the same as having their dad here.

Sometimes life is messy. Disappointment happens. It sucks when it’s Valentine’s Day. And when it’s your kids.

How do you help your children deal with disappointment?

Creative Commons photo “Broken Hearted2” on Flickr by Innocent Eyez.