When I was little, we sometimes referred to people who had reached a certain maturity level as being “old enough to eat cornbread without choking.” I was the youngest of five and I always wanted to be that old!

For years this was unattainable because I simply couldn’t eat cornbread without getting choked. For that matter, most nights my father (who was 55 when I was born) couldn’t accomplish this feat either.

I hadn’t thought of that saying for a long time until last week. I made cornbread for Peter to take to work for a chili/cornbread lunch thing.

True Confession
I must confess, I used a mix.

My mother made cornbread the old fashioned way, from scratch. I used to watch her pour batter into the metal pan. My eyes followed the steady golden mixture as it fell from mixing bowl to pan center. I marveled at how gently it spread, evenly extending cornbread goodness all the way to the edges. Much less often, she made corn muffins and on special occasions, we had corn sticks – cornbread made in a pan with half a dozen or a dozen mini stick-like impressions.

Frivolity and Food
I’m not sure if the message was ever conveyed verbally or not, but for some reason I grew up with the idea that muffins (corn and fruit) and corn sticks were reserved for special occasions. Eating them otherwise would be frivolous.

We lived simply, not by choice, but out of necessity. When I was still in early elementary school, my father became disabled. His only income was from a monthly Social Security check. Mom worked full time in Civil Service. Their meager resources didn’t allow for extras.

Frivolity was for other people, people of means. Rich people.

Years later I still occasionally battle negative tapes in my head. For instance, if Peter fixes muffins for breakfast, or pancakes in the middle of the week (we only had them on Saturday mornings), I must be intentional to think about provision or celebration.

This Thursday is Thanksgiving. I’m looking forward to making some good old fashioned cornbread dressing for our guests. Maybe while I’m at it, I’ll make a few corn sticks.

What about you?
What negative tapes still play in your head? How have you successfully changed the tapes?

Creative Commons photos on Flickr by davidpbaxter and TinyTall.