I’ve said it to our kids more times that I can count.

“Because I’m the Grown Up,” when they ask me something for which there is no other explanation. Typically, of course, this involves some privilege on my part that hasn’t yet been earned on their parts.

“Why do you get to eat in the Living Room?”

“Why do you get to have a soft drink?”

“Because I’m the Grown Up.”

But sometimes it’s more of a cop out, like:

“Why do you get to yell?”

“Because I’m the Grown Up.”

At least I’ve gone a step beyond my own mom and dad, who simply said, “Because I said so,” or even, “Do as I say, not as I do.”

But for the last few weeks, I’ve been telling myself, “Because I’m a Grown Up, it’s time to move forward in life.”

More specifically, because I’m a grown up, it’s time for me to figure out my issues (related to money), address those issues by the grace of God, and move forward in victory and freedom.

My Issues

• Overspending – I spend too much money. And I do this without discriminating. I can overspend at Wal-mart, Home Depot, Amazon or Macy’s. I can overspend on clothes, make up, music or jewelry. I can overspend on gifts others.
• Pride and/or Selfishness – as I typed that part about overspending, I realize it’s rooted in pride and selfishness. I want others to think well of me. Perhaps more highly than they should. And, I don’t want to deny myself, or our children.
• Neglect – I’m not attentive to money matters. I reason, “if I don’t have a budget, then I don’t have a limit.” or “If I don’t know how much money we have, I can spend whatever I want.”

It’s warped. I know. I’m a classic ostrich. I’ll stick my head in the sand, pretend it’s not that bad, and wait for the whole thing to go away. Only it never really goes away.

I’m Scarlett O’Hara  – or Carol Burnette portraying Scarlett O’Hara.

The trouble with my ostrich approach is that it’s not fair to Peter. He’s carrying the entire load, shouldering all the responsibility (and worry) and I’m letting him.

We have “the conversation” and I’m better for a while. I manage to do it in my own strength, without God and without making myself accountable to others.

The problem with that approach is that it’s unsustainable so I stick my head in the sand. Again.

I’m in desperate need of God’s grace and wisdom. It’s time I allow God to show me how to gain victory in this situation.

I am, after all, a grown up.

A Prayer
God, for my entire life, I’ve buried my head in the sand when I didn’t want to deal with something. But clearly, you’re calling me to address my issues with money. Ultimately, Lord, I need your grace and wisdom. Forgive me for the times when I’ve failed. Forgive me for being unfair to Peter. Give me your wisdom, for without it, I’m crying out for breath as I suffocate on grains of sand.

What about you?
Are there issues about which you bury your head in the sand? How have you gained victory over those areas?

Creative Commons photo on Flickr by Blake Imeson.