For the last few years, on the evening of the BB&T Virginia 10-Miler, Schmitty and I have attended a beer tasting party/cookout hosted by some friends of mine. The second year, Schmitty (an Introvert) asked me for some tips on how to start a conversation with someone he’s never met before. I encouraged him to have fun and then gave him some questions to ask, similar to the ones below. (I’m also including “10 Conversation Starters for Business Events” and “2 Questions to Avoid and Why.”)

7 Easy to Ask Questions for Social Events

1. How do you like the band/beer/play (fill in the blank) so far?
2. How do you know the hosts? (This tells me about connections and helps me find possible similarities.)
3. What do you do when you’re not at cookouts? (work/family/hobbies)
4. What do you do for a living? or Do you work outside the home?
5. What do you do for fun?
6. How did you end up in Lynchburg?
7. How did you two meet (if you’re talking to a couple)?

10 Conversation Starters for Business Events

1. What does your company do?
2. What’s the best part of working there?
3. What’s the biggest challenge your industry is facing right now? Or What is the most difficult aspect of your job? (I’m uncovering how I can help or whether or not I know someone who can.)
4. What do you do for your company? (What is this person’s area of expertise? If I know others with the same job experience, I may be able to connect them. Or - this person does what Jamal does. Now I get it. Or, Lester’s looking to hire someone with this experience. Might she be interested in making a change?)
5. What do you love about your job? (This could uncover personal motivation and possibly, company culture.)
6. What’s been the best thing that’s happened at work in the last year? (Again, personal motivation among other things)
7. What does it take for someone to be successful at what you do?
8. What tools do you need/use to do your job? (Is there a way I can learn from their efficiencies or point to a better solution? Who do I know that can offer those products/services to this person?)
9. What does your ideal client/customer look like? (Do I know someone or several someones this person just described? Can I help facilitate a connection?)
10. Who do you need to meet/what do you need to help you take your business to the next level?

2 Questions to Avoid and Why

1. Do you have any children? (if Kai is struggling with infertility or has recently lost a child, this is a very difficult question for her. Most parents naturally divulge the children information at some point in a conversation.)
2. Are you married? Unless you want to ask this person out, steer clear of this one. If Bence is going through a divorce, he may not be ready to go into an explanation. You may not be ready to get an ear full.

Here’s the Thing

Schmitty didn’t meet every person at the cookout. That’s not his style and he’s comfortable with that. He did, however, make the effort to meet a few new people, while still maintaining some quiet space of his own at times, sitting in his camp chair or playing with the kids, or people watching. At the end of the night, Schmitty said he really had a good time. You can too!

What questions do you use when meeting new people?
What questions do you avoid and why?
How has your business benefitted from your use of good questions and what were/are they?

Note: This post is the second of a two parts on “Networking (in person) for Introverts.” To read the first part, click here.