Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Funny guy, that Peter. He googled  ”National Take Your Wife to Lunch Day” and couldn’t find anything.

Not to be outdone, I told him maybe I had the day wrong.

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Hello Google search engines.

Friday, July 29, 2011 is National Take Your Wife to Lunch Day, and in the future it will always be the last Friday of July, from now to perpetuity.

Can I get an “amen” from my sisters across the land?

And if you need reservations, why not try Open Table. Make your reservations online.

(In Peter’s defense, he’s been wonderful and wouldn’t need a national holiday to take me to lunch. It just sounded like a fun idea and remember? I’m going stir crazy without much energy or brain power, so this is the best I’ve got for now.)

What about you?
Where will you be dining with your spouse tomorrow? Leave your comments and be sure to share this post with others via Twitter, Facebook or Google+.

Creative Commons photo on Flickr by Gumption.

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. I wondered. Did only certain people receive the gift? I mean, I only work a few hours a week as a Welcome Editor for The High Calling. Maybe I was being presumptuous.

I almost didn’t say anything, but then, what if Laura thought I received the gift, but never expressed my gratitude? She’d think me incredibly rude. Finally I sent her an awkward email and prayed I didn’t make a fool out of myself. As it turned out, I transposed numbers on my mailing address. The package arrived for a dead address and was sent back. All the way to France.

Laura was on it, and remedied my mistake. Despite the fact that there was no element of surprise, each time I checked my post office box, I was filled with anticipation. I opened my Christmas gift last week when it arrived. Once in hand, I knew just what to do.

Wendy and I had been talking about getting together for months but crazy schedules got in the way. A coffee date at a national chain was planned but rescheduled due to sickness. Once the gift arrived, I asked if she might like to come here for tea. I knew I had her. Wendy loves her tea and she graciously accepted, even offered to bring her tea paraphernalia.

Wednesday morning arrived and I went to work. I trimmed down flowers, changed the table cloth and pulled out the china tea cups and saucers Peter’s mom gave me. I got on my hands and knees so I could poke my head into the cabinet next to the stove and fish around for the infrequently used glass tea kettle. Wendy would bring scones or brioches.

When she got here, she had both, and her basket of tea paraphernalia. She instructed me in the art of tea.

Start the kettle. Measure one spoon of loose tea per cup. Always include a spoon for the pot. Pour the loose tea into the infuser. Lock the clasp (which resembled a closure you might find on an old purse in the back of your grandmother’s chiferobe). Carefully drop the infuser into the pot, then clip the hook onto the spout. Wrap the pot in a cozy or dish towel.

And wait.

Dorothea Johnson, author of Tea & Etiquette, says,

“Tea beckons us to enjoy quality time with friends and loved ones, and especially to rediscover the art of relaxed conversation.”

Our conversation flowed from kids, to church, to Bible studies and spiritual gifts, to neighbors and purpose and so much more. One cup turned to two. Minutes turned into hours. No matter.

Tea takes time.

What about you?
When’s the last time you’ve slowed down enough to enjoy time with a friend?

I’m linking up with Ann today for Food on Fridays. If you have a chance, please stop by to see what others are saying. And tell Ann hello for me.

Jim Pace was the guest speaker at lcf and let me just tell you - he brought it! Jim is the lead pastor at nlcf in Blacksburg, VA. He’s also author of “Should We Fire God?” and blogs at Jim Pace dot org.

Speaking largely to a group of college students, Jim spoke candidly about the Biblical view of pre-marital sex. The basis for his sermon was an exploration of the Hebrew word “dod” (pronounced dode), similar to the Greek word Eros (note: erotic). Dod (dode) is physical/sexual love.

“We think sometimes (in the Church) that God made us sexually responsive, by mistake. But God made us intentionally this way.”

Then Jim made a brilliant analogy using IKEA furniture. He described the difficulty he has trying to put together furniture without written directions because the Scandinavian company uses pictures instead. Bad pictures, in Jim’s estimation. He joked, “Scandinavians are terrible artists.” At the end of the assembly process, would-be furniture makers are often left with a handful of extra parts and a lot of glue.

“We sometimes mistakenly think our neurological design is like that – God put all the leftover parts (nerve endings) in our penises and vaginas. Maybe God made a mistake.”

You should have seen the looks on the faces of a certain 13-year-old boy and 10-year-old girl! I couldn’t see the nearly 15-year-old girl who chose to sit elsewhere.

But you know what? Jim is right. Too often the Church has made our sexuality out to be a bad thing.

In fact, Jim told the (all-too-familiar) story of a pre-marital counseling encounter where the bride-to-be had heard for her entire life how sex was a bad thing, to be avoided. How would a 20 or 30-minute ceremony give her what she needed to shift into an entirely different perspective about sex within marriage.

Unfortunately, Jim didn’t expound on the beauty of sex within marriage. It’s understandable, given his audience. Instead, he offered two approaches to abstinence.

It’s God’s Will
The first was taken from 1 Thessalonians 4:3. Paul only says a total of four times, in all of his letters, “It’s God’s will…” This passage was one of those instances. Jim gave a beautiful description of how the Holy Spirit inspired Scripture. In essence, God was saying to the writer (Paul), “this is so important. This is my will. Avoid sexual immorality.”

Then Jim added, “God understands our sexuality better than we do.”

From Hebrews 4:14-16, “He also understands our weaknesses. Not, ‘you’ plural, but ‘you’ singular. He ‘gets’ you. He accepts ‘you.’”

“We look at the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 5:27-28 and we say ‘Jesus was a buzz kill. But that’s not what Jesus was like. He was releasing Israel from all the laborious rules. But we should pay attention. When He’s pulling away all the rules, and tightens up one of the Ten Commandments, He understood something important. Essentially Jesus said, ‘it’s not just what you do, but what you think that is important.’”

And then, 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 is not about marriage but about relationships in general. We must be connected to others before we can experience dod. Otherwise, sex becomes legal tender instead of intimacy. The marriage covenant is one person with another.

At this point, my 13-year-old boy leaned over and whispered, “This is the strangests sermon I’ve ever heard.”

This same boy was all ears when Jim spoke of Greek mythology and the tales of the sirens. Jim told how Odysseus had sailors plug their ears with beeswax and tie him (ears unplugged) to the ship’s mast. When the ship sailed through the waters, he fought and strained towards the sirens as long as their music played. Once the struggle was over, the sailors knew they were safe.

Jim suggested that straining to do the right thing is good. Sometimes, however, the church only focuses on this approach to sexuality, while society says pre-marital sex is inevitable.

You are Holy
Then Jim told how Jason & the Argonauts successfully sailed past the sirens because they took Orpheus, the musician. When the sirens started, the sailors listened to Orpheus, who played a better song.

God wants us to embrace both approaches to sexual immorality, always remembering 1 Corinthians 6:11. We were washed, sanctified and justified in the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ. You, who were understood. You (singular).

“We are holy,” is a better song our culture can sing, and it’s worth it to listen.

**

With apologies to Jim for inaccuracies and incomplete information. The sermon was refreshingly candid, and I’m thankful our children had an opportunity to hear another adult share a Christian perspective on sex before marriage. God knows they receive enough messages about sex that don’t represent His best.

This post is just in time for Michelle’s “Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday” series. To see what other bloggers heard in sermons around the country, check out the bottom of Michelle’s post and visit some other great sites linked there.

What about you?
What are your thoughts about the Church’s stance on sexual immorality?

My brain is saturated.

Here are just a few of the ideas and conversations that have my attention while I endure a very long layover in the Charlotte airport.

1. From David Bullock, profit engineer, “Free is nice, but free does not get me paid.” Nuff said.
2. From Ryan Rasmussen,  virtual worlds guy, “You already have an affiliate program. Provide them with better tools to help them help you.” Immediately I thought of my three words post.
3. Hallway conversations often have more power than the content presented in sessions. Like the 10-year passion plan conversation I had with Jon Swanson, social media chaplain.
4. Thoughtfulness goes a long way and makes a huge difference. I appreciate the fact that Liz Strauss, perhaps the most influential relational blogger on the Internet, was deliberate in scheduling our last session this morning at Hotel 71 rather than at the Summit Executive Centre. We were able to enjoy breakfast together and folks were able to check out/leave throughout the morning, without having to trek back and forth a few blocks with luggage in tow.

I have so much more to process and pray through. I’ll be sure to share additional highlights with you, in the days and weeks to come.

For those of you who also attended, what are you digesting from SobCon09? And for the rest of you, what do you find to be the most effective way to process information, insights and aha’s from conferences you’ve attended? I’d sure love to read your tips in the comments section!

Today’s been rough. I’ve had to eat crow all morning at home because of personal stuff – mostly pride and coming up on the short end of the stick. I’ve been wrong and I don’t like it when I have to face my faults. It’s painful and frankly, I feel like some of the wind has been knocked out of my sails. I did it to myself.

After the kids got on the bus, I sat down to check my email and I received this (click to enlarge):

• First, nice reach out. Nice business process. Someone’s paying attention. I’m really wowed when companies are listening – seeing who is using their products or services, and how. I’m wowed when businesses understand what engaging people looks like. The subject said I was a SlideShare rockstar because of this presentation I did on Twitter for Business for the Montgomery County Chamber of Commerce.

• Secondly, I’m curious. Hmmm, I wonder how many views? I click the link and OMG! More than 10,000 views of my SlideShare? That’s insane! I reflect back on my original presentation about SlideShare and how powerful a tool it is. I see this firsthand now.

• Wow! This feels good today. Sort of like a warm blanket on a cold, rainy day (which it is). I think I’ll relish the moment, as I digest my crow.

• Finally, people make a difference. Lee Graham, ACregar and SlideShare’s CTO, Jonathan Boutelle all added my presentation to their favorites. One simple act of adding someone’s presentation can go a long way in building relationships. Further evidence that social media is about engaging, giving.

What are you waiting for? Post some of your own presentations on SlideShare, or “favorite” (a verb) one or two that you really like. And if you’re a business owner, how can you pay attention to what your customers are doing with your products and services and reach out to them? How can you offer a warm blanket on a rainy day? Tell me. I want to hear how you engage people.

I was a SlideShare user/fan before this. Now, I’m part of their Tribe.

Note: This post is not about ego. In fact, I almost didn’t write it because God has been dealing with me lately about my pride. I’m not looking for attagirls here, nor am I bragging. Instead, it’s my attempt to share how a company positively impacted my emotions. On a tough morning. Thanks SlideShare Team.

Admittedly, I sort of like hearing this complete stranger tell me I’ve arrived. It’s like Joe Isuzu all over again. But she’s wrong. I haven’t arrived. And the moment I begin to think otherwise, is a dangerous time for me and for those around me. The same could be said for you as well. For all of us.

Whether in business, in marriage, in parenting, in ministry — whatever the case – the moment we think we’ve got it all together, we’re in a dangerous place. We stop paying attention to our business environment and the circumstances of life. We become too smug to heed the advice of those around us, many of whom are far wiser than we are.

And then we’re susceptible to the inevitable fall. Proverbs remind us, “Pride comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

But hey, I’m just one person.

What do you say? Have you ever been bitten in the butt for thinking you’ve arrived? How?

Morgan, my 10-year old son, was the only child at home that night. His sister was at camp and two step-siblings were at their mom’s house across town. Date night sounded like a great idea so off we went to La Caretta, our family favorite.

In less than 48 hours, we would be dropping off Morgan and his sister to spend six weeks in Indiana with their dad. Date night timing couldn’t be better. As we enjoyed each other’s company, these are a few of the lessons I tried to impart to Morgan:

1. Focus on the other person. The best way to get to know others is to focus on them, rather than dominating the conversation.
2. Ask questions. Whether you’re on a date or in a business setting, it’s always a good idea to ask questions that allow people to talk about what’s important to them. I asked Morgan about his day camp experience and about his newest toy fad.
3. Remember names. While we were at the restaurant, I called our servers by name. (Did I mention it’s our family favorite?) We saw some friends and I reminded Morgan of their names. When we stopped by their table on the way out, he could call them by name.
4. Always pay. Call me old fashion, but I still think the man should pay for dates. (It’s nice for a lady to offer to pay and I suppose if she initiates the date, she should offer/be prepared to pay. Maybe I’ll revisit this conversation in August when he returns.)
5. Trust Jesus; He’s the real deal. The mere fact that Morgan would be gone for six weeks reminded me that date night could be a good time to reinforce key values.

After we left the restaurant, we went to Givens Books and I purchased The Dangerous Book for Boys, thanks to a referral from a Twitter conversation. At the last minute Morgan decided he wanted to watch one of his favorite movies from when he was (really) little. Hollywood Video didn’t have it so we went to Blockbuster. Score! (Last minute choices may be the only down side of Netflix.)

Who knew Land Before Time would be the perfect ending to a mother-son date? In her last words, Little Foot’s mother took the time to teach a few important life lessons as well.

Have you been on a Mother-Son or Father-Daughter date? If so, tell me about it! What life lessons did your parents share with you (or do you wish they had shared with you)? What lessons are you intentionally sharing with your children?

• People are using social networks to find pockets of opportunities.
• Social networks/social media are changing search engine results, often highlighting obscure or sometimes less than ideal information above the fold. Companies must pay attention.
• Customers are having the conversations online about your company, your product, your industry, etc.
• Mom bloggers have power and LOTS of influence on the buying decisions, not just for their households.
• Businesses are seeing negative comments go down because they are listening.
• Companies doing social media/social networks well are doing so because they aren’t taking themselves so seriously. Loosen up corporate America.
• Loosening up melts resistance.
• Associations (non-profits, chambers and ministries/churches) have great opportunities to build community via social networks.
• Every business/organization needs to reach out to younger generations to continue in the future. Social media/social networks provides that platform.
• Use social networks/community to let your customers help you build your next product/service. They’re already your fans.
• Use social media/social networks to give people what they need to tell your story!
• Companies/organizations interested in controlling the convesation are not well suited for social networks.
• Pushing your marketing message is not well suited for social networks. It is far better to enable conversations (and let others lead the conversation/tell your story).
• We now live in three worlds: the physical, digital and virtual. (I would add spiritual to the list, but that’s a whole other post.)
• People have three lives: professional, personal and private (the part not on social networks).

There was so much information. Now I must digest it all. It’ll be interesting how the conversations that began in today’s session will continue on Twitter in both formal and informal ways, as well as in other conversations about marketing, business and life.

I apologize for not including names/companies/links for speakers. The twebinar went so quickly, I only had time to take notes. See the sidebar of Twebinar page for more information about speakers. Can’t wait ’til the next one! Good job guys.

What about you? Were you one of the 500 to get in the first one? What was your takeaway? What am I missing from the list?

Last night after I said prayers with Sweet Pea and made my way into the hallway just outside her bedroom door, she called me back into her room. My 12-year old daughter wasn’t finished talking. I hadn’t given her enough time. So I went back into her room to hear what she had to say. WHAT she said was not really all that important. The fact that she WANTED to talk was, and I needed to listen.

This morning as Schmitty and I were starting off our day, he pointed out that in the last few weeks we’ve not been very intentional about taking care of our relationship. To be fair, we’ve had a lot going on. Work – his and mine, two trips to Canada related to his father’s hospitalization and passing. We’ve run from soccer field to softball field, to violin lessons, and appointments out the wazoo.

But he was right. We have a great relationship, so it’s fairly easy to notice when something is even slightly off kilter.

Today when my lunch appointment had to reschedule, I saved the block of time so Schmitty and I could have lunch together. We reconnected, though briefly. He had leftover chicken wings and I ate a peanut butter and banana sandwich. And it was good.

The personal cost of starting/running your own business can be great. Today I needed to remember that I don’t want to pay that cost by sacrificing the people around me. My marriage and our family are simply too important.

What about you? How do you keep track of the personal cost of doing business? What do you do when you get off track?